her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
