I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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