Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
you win again, gameday.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
