That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Rumble strips road head = magical
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
