i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
