I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I have post one night stand depression
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