What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
We left an ass print on the piano.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
