the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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