I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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