so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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