I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
