i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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