the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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