Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
