i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
