My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
