You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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