No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
