YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
