why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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