Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
