Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
