My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Where are you guys?
Drunk
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
