this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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