your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
