Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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