Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
