I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
