Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
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