His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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