Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
