pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
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