if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
