Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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