i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
