its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
