Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
