Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
