Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
one two three fourrrrnication!
pop tarts are not kleenex
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
