my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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