Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Randomize
