were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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