so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
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