I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Randomize
