ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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