so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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