Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
