Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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