well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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