how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize