i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
