Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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