Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
