Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
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