i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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