I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
