I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
