He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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