If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
