Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
