Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Randomize
