The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
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