The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
