Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
