are you so shy because you have an std?
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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