I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
Randomize
