Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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