I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
my sisters under your porch take her home
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
