The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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